About selfishness......
Boy and I have an interesting discussion about selfishness in the car just now......
Ever you come across a situation when you are being labelled as "selfish" and think that you are not? Have you ever remember a situation when you are asked to share your new toy with another kid, but you really don't wish to...... cos you love it so much that you cannot bear to play with it, let alone share with another kid!!! You are taught not to be selfish and share it with another kid.
Boy don't think it is being selfish. He proudly said ever since primary 1, he think that it is bullshit! The parents are selfish for trying to 'look' good in front of other parents, trying to show that they taught their children well. The other kid is selfish for trying to take away something that you love. You are only only trying to protect something that you love and that is not selfish. By sharing, you are being selfish to yourself. And you are being labelled as selfish for other's selfish reasons. And after the age of 7, he really doesn't care when people call him selfish after this realization!
I checked up the definition of selfish on dictionary.com. Selfish means concerned chiefly or only with oneself. So if you don't "share", does that mean that you are selfish? No, it is as important to love yourself as to love others. It is impossible to love others if you do not love yourself first.
Giving has to be from within. You will feel good about it. There are times when I give, not because I want to but because I want to be accepted and "unselfish". But do I feel good? Nope. I feel terrible about compromising. And slowly it becomes a habit to look for peer acceptance. hmm....need some self reflection.
1 thing I am very sure. Next time, I am not going to teach my child that he is being selfish for not sharing. I going to teach him how to take other people's feeling into consideration, and he can make his own judgement.
Ever you come across a situation when you are being labelled as "selfish" and think that you are not? Have you ever remember a situation when you are asked to share your new toy with another kid, but you really don't wish to...... cos you love it so much that you cannot bear to play with it, let alone share with another kid!!! You are taught not to be selfish and share it with another kid.
Boy don't think it is being selfish. He proudly said ever since primary 1, he think that it is bullshit! The parents are selfish for trying to 'look' good in front of other parents, trying to show that they taught their children well. The other kid is selfish for trying to take away something that you love. You are only only trying to protect something that you love and that is not selfish. By sharing, you are being selfish to yourself. And you are being labelled as selfish for other's selfish reasons. And after the age of 7, he really doesn't care when people call him selfish after this realization!
I checked up the definition of selfish on dictionary.com. Selfish means concerned chiefly or only with oneself. So if you don't "share", does that mean that you are selfish? No, it is as important to love yourself as to love others. It is impossible to love others if you do not love yourself first.
Giving has to be from within. You will feel good about it. There are times when I give, not because I want to but because I want to be accepted and "unselfish". But do I feel good? Nope. I feel terrible about compromising. And slowly it becomes a habit to look for peer acceptance. hmm....need some self reflection.
1 thing I am very sure. Next time, I am not going to teach my child that he is being selfish for not sharing. I going to teach him how to take other people's feeling into consideration, and he can make his own judgement.
posted by Katherine @ 12:25 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home